Peace Of Mind? If Only

There are things that I can't stop thinking about

- Japan

- My favorite visual kei artists (or just music)

- Issues I've had for many years

- Sewing (or clothes in general)

- How I feel about particular things or events in my life

- A new design or idea in sewing

- SELL SELL SELL MY PRODUCTS ON ETSY

- Need to watch more anime, why am I not doing that now??

- I wanna draw, but I don't know what...

- WHY AM I SO FAAAAT!?

- Corsets

- MUST MAKE MORE CORSETS!!!

- Facebook....why do I check you so much?

- UHHGG I really HATE this person! Here are the reasons why...

- COLLAGE OH FUCK!

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The list can go on

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I have good friends who love to meditate or do yoga, you know things that people do to help them relax emotionally/mentally

Something to achieve peace of mind

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I don't know how anyone can do that

"peace of mind"

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To me, peace of mind is when you don't think about anything and you enter a world of your own...

Literally theres nothing in your mind but just calm, clear, peaceful quietness

It sounds like a really difficult thing to do

Especially if the inside of your mind is just pure madness, sadness, darkness, depression

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I have a friend who uses incense to help write and, I guess, meditate

I have that!....does that count?

:D

....

:( 

....

I don't think so

Sigh....

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Well...

I guess that's it for this thought

:(

Sigh

PDA: Public Display of Annoyance

PDA

What does it mean to me? 

"A" definitely stands for Annoying, cause everyday, that's all I fucken see

Why does this exist? Really, someone answer that for me.

Is it just a game couples play on other people? 

"Oh hey, let's really make everyone angry and go spit on each other next to the bathroom door!!"

Yeah, I'm not kidding, that really happened to me

 I walked out of the bathroom and the first thing I see is PDA,

THEN the first thing I heard was gurgling and a bunch of spitting

". . .

really?"

I thought

"Why don't you just try to learn new sex moves in the middle of the hall, yeah, then let's see if anyone NOTICES!!!"

Really people! 

There are a small percentage of couples that are adorable to watch

but sadly, it's rare to find

REALLY RARE!

And I just happen to be thrust upon a place full of intolerable couples

I mostly feel as if God is just slapping me in the fucken face, and making fun of me while I find myself in the middle of an awkward standstill as I watch more of this kind of shit everyday.

IDK man....PDA is just a cruel joke to me

:'(

Lunch Conversations

Reason behind this post

Pure anger

I don't usually go off on a tangent on people or about people, it's almost rare

But today, at the lunch table, it was weird but my heart started to pound out of my chest, almost as if my heart wanted to strangle the kid who accidentally got me angry in the first place.

I was just furious!

My day was going so well too...

I woke up at a normal time, slept in, which is normal for me

Ate, drove to school, went to class assuming that the classes will go on as if time has stopped. The great thing about today was that, class was really fricken fast! One minuet I'm talking to my Spanish teacher about the German family, for whom I once baby sat their kids, the next thing I know, my next class is beginning

o.O

That got me in a pretty good mood, overall
I'm not usually in good moods either
It was one of those days where everything seemed ok

But then lunch came around and one conversation got me in the worst mood, and even now (writing this blog entry in the middle of 5th period) can still feel my heart bulge in and out from my chest with anger...

The reason why?

The utterance of my ex boyfriend's name....

It really set me off

Ok so sorry if I'm going to sound like a pussy little girl on the Internet who's just here to complain and whine or something, but you know what? This anger is just overwhelming that this utterance of his name got me extremely upset...at least thats what happened today

It was a horrible feeling
If I ever see him again, I would only be satisfied if I carried along a pocket knife
Not the intentions of killing, of course, but just to help ease the pain of seeing his face
His disgusting face....
Holding, gripping the weapon in my pocket would at least keep me standing there with a straight face

But I will not hold back my emotions or feelings of anger if he says something that really dissatisfied me...

And I'm sure that he would...

That's all I need to say for now

Thoughts Translated into Music...Somewhat

Burn

We Are The Fallen

I really do recommend them

You can find them on iTunes, they only have one album, as far as I know

I wish they had more....

Have you ever loved a song so much that you just wanna make a music video of it? Premiering you? (well I do)

Or have you ever heard a song that really spoke to you? Maybe you feel some really deep emotions that you can't feel with other humans?

I do

3/4 of my music has lots of moody music (the rest is just soundtrack or comical kind of stuff). I love my visual kei music, my gothic and powerful female singers, male goths (Like Mana *drooool*), Lolita, and many other kinds of music

Right now theres a band thats really speaking to me..

We Are The Fallen

I'm sure you have heard of them, maybe cause people think they are a off Evanescence

Well fuck that..

I don't give a shit as to who's better or worse. If I feel something deep, to the point where I cry for hours, then they stay in my iTunes Library and are apart of my collection of emotions

All of their music is really powerful and painful as well

Have you ever heard a song that makes you feel like the lyrics came right from your pain and sorrow? Like an experience you had or a memory that you morn?

 Just something that made a you remember something...sad?

Literally there are no words that can express what I feel sometimes

Sorry if I sound like some retarded emo kid

it's just the truth...

o^._.^o

The First Thought

Oh Shit.....What Have I Done? 

I must keep things to myself for now on....

I have this issue with....the people around me. It has consumed my mind, and now its has been unleased into the community which I call "my group of friends" 

All I really should say is......oh shiiit...

DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA!!! SHIT

I wish I could go into more detail, but maybe tomorrow would be better -__-

Also, for anyone reading this, Happy Turkey Day 

Nyans and Meows~o^._.^o~

Hello World, I'm Here

 Well, I am lost as to how this place works. Starting out on anything can be dificult, I suppose

I guess I started this blog to document my everyday thoughts in a public domain, because updating your Facebook Statuses, to really depressing thoughts, just didn't satisfy anything or anyone, so here I am...Blogspot or....now its called Blogger?

You mean like....Frogger? That really old ass game??? o.o

Well uh...

The things I will post is basicly my life. People always told me that if I didn't have anyone to talk to (or refused to talk, period) get a blog and vent all you want. I didn't think that would solve anything, just taking about yourself to, esenchally, yourself. I will be lucky if I get any readers/subscribers in the first place, I kinda hope so, but eh, idk. 

I will post my photography, sewing, drawings, thoughts, and most importantly, rants!

OH YES THE RANTS! So glorious! THERES SO MANY I CAN'T EVEN COUNT THEM ALL!!

But yes, I will try my best to update often with either a thought or a picture or both...

~ ~ ~ Nyans and Meows ~ ~ ~

o^._.^o