Why....?

Why do I keep doing this to myself?

I get this feeling, a negative feeling

It should be good, or. . . should it?

When I think about it, everyone is right

But what if everyone is wrong?

One side says yes, the other says no

Where do I go in this life?

. . .

Why is it that I have no reason to be happy in the morning?

What do I wake up too?

Why is it that I wake up feeling that I know I will have an unfulfilled day?

And even if I do something constructive, and I check everything off of my mental list of things to do,

I go to bed . . . sad and overall unhappy with myself

Why was I brought upon this life?

This life of constant grief, sadness, depression, circling thoughts and fantasies

Why was my life written with many cruel and dramatic events?

Bulling

Abuse

The fears of rejection

Heartbreak

First love almost ending with death

Family neglect and disfunction

Harsh self conscienceness

Why do I have to live?

Why couldn't I just let my self go at a younger age?

So many questions

Questions that cannot be answered

They eat at me sometimes

Why am I still alive?

What other tragedies must I face next?

I'm always so cold . . .

Why am I always by myself?

What's the reason behind that?

Why do I dream when I know that reality will disappoint me?

Just. . .

. . .

Why. . . ?